www.njchiropractors.com I 33 Legislative Update Chiro Assist TECHNIQUE Council Legal Q&A S C H O L ARSHIP WI N N E R S The word confrontation conjures up negative thoughts for many of us. We equate confrontation with things like fight or argument, so naturally it is something that many look to avoid. But perhaps it is not negative? What if a dear friend confronted you about a mistake they were worried you were making and that would have significant consequences? Although it might not be an easy conversation, it would certainly be based on love and concern. In this situation, would confrontation be negative? Confrontation is really just speaking directly about something when the person you are speaking with may have a differing view. Yet we often avoid it because we are afraid of the possible outcomes, such as it becoming argumentative, or tense, or hurting someone’s feelings. The price of avoiding it, however, is steep as we don’t get our point expressed. So the question is, how can we confront effectively? Most of the time, it turns out that expressing our view in a situation where we believe the other person has a differing view is not an issue. If two people can speak about a topic with respect and patience, it usually is fine that the two parties have differences. So what really is necessary is confrontational tolerance, meaning the willingness to have a conversation that may be confrontational. In practice, where do we see these situations arise? Sometimes patients will confront us about their care schedule, or finances, or office policies. Sometimes we need to confront patients about these things. Sometimes team members need to confront each other about an office issue. Rather than let it slide, which serves no one, and rather than let the confrontation become argumentative, the following steps can be used to confront effectively: 1. Clarify your desired outcome – before starting a confrontation, be very clear about what you are hoping to achieve, and focus the conversation on that only. Do not bring up extraneous matters. 2. Establish rapport – any conversation is easier when you are in rapport with the other person. Be empathetic; attempt to see the situation from the other person’s perspective and use cordial language. 3. Manage your state – be in control of your emotions. Even if you are angry or frustrated, don’t let your emotions take over the conversation. Use respectful language, tone and physiology. 4. Finally, “ask, don’t tell.” The Socratic method is very effective during a confrontation. By asking questions, rather than telling, the person you are conversing with can arrive at their own conclusion which is more empowering than being told what to do. In this situation you would not use open-ended questions, but rather questions that lead the person to the information. As an example, if a patient confronted you about their care schedule, rather than tell them why it is important, ask if they remember what was explained during their report of findings. Ask if they are hoping to get the maximum benefit from their care. Ask if staying on schedule will help them achieve that result? How might missing appointments affect them? These types of questions will allow them to arrive at the conclusion that it is to their benefit to follow recommendations, rather than feel lectured to by the team. Using these techniques, and shifting your perspective on what confrontation is, can serve to improve your communication skills and allow you to handle difficult conversations with ease and effectiveness. Michelle Turk, DC, a 1991 graduate of New York Chiropractic College, is the owner of Positive Impact Coaching and Consulting Services (www.positiveimpactcoaching.com.) She has coached thousands of doctors and CAs towards personal and professional growth for the last 18 years. She can be reached at michelle@positiveimpactcoaching. com. CONFRONTATION Made Easy By Dr. Michelle Turk